Found today on Groklaw

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and
the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby
and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part shall
be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform
previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise
illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the
entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated
by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option
of the party of the second part and not required by the aforementioned agreement
between the parties.

The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to,
the following. The party of the first part shall, with or without elevation at
his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of
elevation, grasp the party of the second part and rotate the party of the second
part in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being tendered non-negotiable.
Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part becomes fully detached
from the receptacle, the party of the first part shall have the option of
disposing of the party of the second part in a manner consistent with all
relevant and applicable local, state and federal statutes. Once separation and
disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part shall have the option
of beginning installation. Aforesaid installation shall occur in a manner
consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this
self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a
clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable. The above described
steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part, by any or
all agents authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible
revenue for the Partnership.